A fresh start.

I know everyone uses the new year as a reason to change and as a source of hope, and I am not normally the type to believe that just because the year has changed, my luck will.

However, following the events of this year, I believe that there really is only one way for things to go- and that is up. I have so much to work out, but I know that with the help of those around me, I will be just fine. 

After leaving university after being there for only 12 days, I hit a low that I didn't think I would overcome. I felt as though I had let those around me down, and that I had hit a brick wall. It was an odd time, the rest of my friends were at university, and it makes you feel as though you're being left behind. I was not at university long enough to make friends that I would know for life, but despite this they were an amazing bunch of people who I wish I had longer to get to know. 

I have tried blogging before, and each time I have enjoyed it so much but due to school and exams it has been impossible to continue, but thanks to the unexpected gap year I had to take, I have enough time now to blog weekly.

My hope for this is that I do not allow myself to dwell on my illness and what happened, but instead find myself again.

I recently saw someone who made predictions for the new year at the start and then returned to them at the end of the year to see how true they were and in this first post, I would like to do the same.

So... hello 2019 Lauren.

At this point, you will be 20. I hope that you have reached a point where you are healthy enough to walk up the stairs everyday without not feeling lightheaded and faint.

I hope you find the path you want to take, be that be going back to uni or an apprenticeship.

Remember always that it is your life, and if you feel as though one thing is better than another for you - that is okay.

I hope you get to visit all the places you wish to visit including; 

• Amsterdam,
• Paris,
• Rome,
• Berlin.

I hope that you realise how worthy you are of everything good that comes your way. You deserve it.

Finally,

I really hope that everyday as you fall in love more and more, you also fall in love with yourself and the world again. 

A goal that I really hope you achieve is learning to drive - you will thank your self in the end.

Ultimately, this year off has been given to me for a reason - I need to grab it with both hands and make the most of it. 

This blog, is just the first step to me finding myself and accepting the year as it comes.

C ya,

Loz.